Don’t @ me, Nike.

I just renewed my yearly subscription to WordPress and I swear-to-glob that the past year flashed before my eyes. What have I created this past year besides more stress for myself?
Not much, to be honest.
I think made a couple of spoonflower patterns, a paper doll, sewed a blanket or two, uploaded a few designs to Redbubble, drew a couple of things, and took a few Skillshare classes… But ultimately I spent a whooooole lot more money on my creative ventures than I made. I’m not joking. I bought a new embroidery sewing machine that I haven’t used, and an iPad Pro, among other things. I had all the best intentions but none of the energy.
It’s embarrassing.
I feel depressed (boohoo, I know). I’ve always been someone that needed to create. It’s my outlet and my biggest enjoyment out of life.
I’ve had this really strong urge lately to create my own “world.” Something to dump my (very little) art and writing knowledge into. A passion project of sorts. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I know this will never be something that I can do to pay the bills, but I would love to be able to create consistent content that people enjoy. Something to be proud of and give me purpose outside of my family. I’ve almost completely lost myself and I’m craving some sense of identity. Maybe what I’m really looking for is a way to escape this hell hole that we’ve all been living for over a year now.
So, that’s why I’m writing this jumbled mess this morning. I just finished my homework and I’m contemplating my life choices (lol). Sometimes I have to tell myself to “just do it” otherwise I wouldn’t create anything at all… Or clean my house.
I don’t know who will read this, but I love your faces. And I hope you have a great day. I’m off to get another cup of coffee and try to resist the urge to order another $25 in Door Dash. What are your plans for today / this week / this YEAR?
On the plus side, as I was writing this, my parental instincts kicked in and I caught my daughter opening paint before she created a mural all over her room. I guess we’re going to go paint now! 😀
Send help.
-Linds





